Ugh. STAAR testing is here. The bane of my teaching existence. I did not become a teacher simply to prepare kids for a standardized test, which measures on an unreasonable curve. It isn't fair to determine the skills of every student based on one test. If I wanted to build robots, I would have become a mad scientist. But this is just one negative, unavoidable aspect of the job I love. I became a teacher simply because I love and appreciate the fragility and goofiness of adolescents. I can still see myself at that age searching for where I fit in the world and I'm trying reach her.
There have been several days, more than I'm willing to admit, when I come home from school ready to look for a new job. I whine to Kyle about how I can't handle the disrespect, the entitlement, the attitudes and laziness of these crazy kids. "There is no way I will make it in this profession for another thirty years," I complain. While that may be true, I may not make it another thirty years, today, I will choose to focus on the positive aspects of my job. Starting with the fact that, most days, I love my job. I realize you have good years and bad years, as my elder colleagues have informed me. Last year, however, it was not uncommon for me to come home frustrated to the point of tears. I think we can safely call that a bad year, or at least a frustrating one. But, I digress. I'm going to capitalize on the fact that this is a good year.
To celebrate how much better this year is treating me, I've decided to make a list. A best parts list. So far, these are the best parts of my year, my job, and my awesome, intuitive, fragile little seventh graders.
1. My kids get excited about reading. Divergent is the new fad in YA lit. Several of my kids have already read it, and I see more books everyday sitting atop desks, decorated with bookmarks. This is always a conversation starter for me. How awesome is it that I can walk into my room and generate genuine conversation about what faction we'd be in and discuss other book favorites? It fuels my fire to see kids get excited about reading! I love being in a profession where I can share my love of literature and see kids reciprocate that passion. I do not take it for granted. Of course, not all of my students appreciate reading, but I revel in the small victories! Some of my favorite teaching memories hold pictures of students standing around my desk spouting their favorite parts of Divergent or The Fault in Our Stars. It's the most rewarding feeling to know that I played a small role in sparking a passion for reading/writing.
2. Watching my kids morph into a community of writers has to be one of the coolest parts of my job. This has not been easy road, and some of my classes have not made it to this point yet. It has not come without several lectures/lessons about respecting one another, but one day, I'm not sure how, it happened. One of my students was sharing something we had all been working on from class, and that's when I saw it. As she read what she had written, my eyes bounced to each face of her peers as their expressions transformed from judgment to awe. Jaws dropped, eyes softened, and hearts opened with respect. "Wow, I didn't know you could write like that." The comments began. It was like 20 little light bulbs clicked on as I witnessed their perceptions of one another change from band nerd or jock or popular to writer. Everyone was equal. As you know, middle schoolers are insistent upon labeling (people, styles, music - you name it, they've labeled it), and in one moment of raw honesty, all those labels dissipated. They were united. I tried to disappear behind my podium and soak it all in. I let them share for as long as I could, reveling the new atmosphere of acceptance. That day they emerged with a new identity, a new label: writers. That will ever be etched in my memory. Even yesterday, we did some creative writing but ran out of time to share in class, but this didn't stop my 8th period. I glanced up from my desk to see several gathered in the back of my room sharing what they wrote before being dismissed. Guys, my job is cool.
3. I love watching my kids wrestle with writing. As with any skill, writing comes easily for some but not all. Not everyone gets it. Not everyone is good at it. And that's OK. They're 7th graders, not published authors, but I feel so encouraged when they try something new in their writing. It makes my job worthwhile when I witness them improve on a daily basis. I have literally caught myself in the middle of class with a teethy smile, giddy that they reached for a thesaurus or that they used a simile or that they indented a paragraph! Like I said, it's the little victories on which I thrive.
4. My kids actually work together. It's so nice to have a group of kids who will do what they've been asked! It still shocks me sometimes when I ask them to work on something with a partner, and lo' and behold, they actually work! On a few occasions, of course, I'm not so lucky. It does take a bit of motivating sometimes. Contrary to what I hope, most are not dying to write and revise essays, but they do anyway. There is one instance that I've tabbed in my memory. In the process of our essay writing, it was revising day. They were peer editing and revising when I noted one particular partner choice, of which I approved. One of my struggling writers chose to work with one of the strongest writers in that class, and the things I heard/saw made me want to fist pump, jump for joy, and sing all at once. In fact, I probably did. I overheard genuine discussions of where detail should be added and parts that sounded confusing. Both learned from each other, and because of this partnership, BOTH essays were better than the previous ones they had written! Win!
5 My kids know me. One day in class we were talking about "showing vs. telling." In my power point I showed several examples of what "showing" looks like in writing, but I only wrote one example myself. The other two examples I used I found from other sources. (I know, I cheated. Whatever.) As I read, they immediately knew which one I had written. I've shared enough of what I've written with them that they could instantly recognize my writing style. "Mrs. Nielsen, that one has to be the one you wrote because it's the best and it's long." (Awe. They know I'm wordy and over the top! ;) ) I was just impressed they could tell a difference! One even told me that I should write a book. They're so cute and naive. Writing is easy when your audience is a room full of 12-13 year olds!
6. The absolute best part of my job is the relationships that I build with my students.
Sometimes those relationships start with sarcasm, which is why I love junior high kids. They get it. I once told a kid to leave my class because he did not like Christmas music. Obviously, I was kidding. Kind of. We laughed and moved on.
I know I've mentioned sharing reading experiences above, but that also plays a part in how I build relationships. When they're eyes light up because I'm interested in what they're reading or doing or that I have noticed them, how is that not a teaching win? When my 8th graders come back to see me, my heart is full. I love those kids! It's special to know that I paid enough attention to them as 7th graders that they'd want to come back to visit me.
As their writing teacher, I know about them all of which they choose to share with me. It's very humbling when a little person trusts you enough to share their secrets with you, hoping for nothing less than acceptance. I do not take my position of influence for granted. And, occasionally, when one of my dears leaves for the weekend, I'll get a heart-warming gem like this as he back pedals out the door: "Bye, Mrs. Nielsen. If you're lucky, I might even miss ya." How friggin cute is that? Icing on the cake. Then you get the darlings who are honest to a fault: "Mrs. Nielsen, you look tired. Like you sound tired, too. Are you okay?" Just precious. Gotta love 'em. Seriously, though, I love my kids. I love that they are goofy, honest, confident, insecure, curious, and dare I say, dauntless. If I had kids, I'd want mine to be friends with them.
These guys have reminded me why I became a teacher. They've brought joy back to my job when the paper work and the planning and the grading and the pressure and STAAR seem to suck the life right out of me. Ultimately, I'm there for them - not for STAAR or grades. They should be my focal point. That is not always easy as I have my fair share of challenges and insecurities. I'm just grateful that the group of kids I have are motivated enough to give me hope and goofy enough to make me laugh; they work hard enough to make me proud and are malleable enough to accept correction. I have to remind myself that my students are seventh graders, and as such, lose their brains every other day. They don't always make good choices, but that's the beauty of growing up. It's not always pretty. They're really just little people reaching for ways to connect with the world. I'm just reaching back.
