As every school year must end, the last day creeps to a close. Necks are hugged. Selfies are snapped. Kids are scattered, and the hallways and classes are eventually emptied. I know I wrote a post about this last year, but it hasn't gotten any easier to let my babies go. Once the kids are gone and the excitement turns to quiet, I'm left with the emptiness of the chairs and the deafening silence that will no longer be filled by the ones I've come to know and love so well. And the tears ensued. While puddles formed on my desk, I hid my watery, swollen eyes behind my computer screen, so teachers passing by couldn't see how lame I was.
I am overcome with emotion when I think about our journey and the pride that beams from their eyes when they've learned how much they accomplished. To play even a minuscule role in the course of their lives is humbling. I am privileged and honored to be able to teach the kids on my roster. They are smart, compassionate, creative, hilarious. They are determined, passionate, and eager. They are dreamers. They are leaders. After all the hugs and pictures and sweet notes shared, I've learned one thing: Where relationships are built, lives are changed.
I've finally realized after five years that this is my purpose. I understand the magnitude of my influence. God has called me (and everyone really) to love people - the smaller, more sarcastic ones, in particular. Every day is NOT easy, and there are MANY difficult days. I know I make a multitude of mistakes daily, but while my weaknesses are plentiful, I have never felt more fulfilled and humbled than when I get notes that tell me they felt loved. My profession is not just a job to me, which is why watching them walk out of my room for the last time is so jarring. Spending 9 1/2 months with them, these kids become my family, the lights of my life, my little brothers and sisters - even the "challenging" ones.
That is why I love my job. That is why I can't let go. That is why my eyes are watering again. Because they've changed me and left a handprint on my heart that I can't forget. I've poured myself into these kids and they've reciprocated. I have the best job in the world because I get a preview of the future. And from where I'm sitting, I think we'll be OK. Thanks parents for letting me love your kids. It's not an honor I take lightly. So, while I intend to enjoy my summer, the wound is still fresh.
Now, on a lighter note... Some pictures with the crazies.
(Apparently, I haven't mastered selfies yet.)
May the odds be ever in your favor, class of 2020.
