13 Reasons Why and why you should avoid it

It's all over the internet.  It's all kids talk about in the classroom.  The new netflix craze, 13 Reasons Why is everywhere! Which is why I'm inspired to add my two cents, as I'm sure you've read everyone else's.  I'm sure you've heard the premise, right?  Hannah Baker, a junior in high school, kills herself but before she does, she makes 13 tapes, each of which contains the story of a person who plays a role in her suicide.  The theory behind the show is great; watch how you treat others because you never know what they are going through.  But it plays out the themes of suicide and depression and bullying and sex and all the heavy things teenagers navigate on a daily basis in a less than hopeful way.  I can't tell you how many times I hear my junior high kids talking about this.  And each time I'm astounded that their parents have no idea what it is.

If you are the parent of a teenager, WATCH. THIS. SHOW.  I can almost guarantee your kid has already seen it or at the very least heard about it and you need to have the hard conversations with them.  They should not be watching it. Or at least shouldn't be watching it alone. 

And this is why: 

1. It encourages kids to be the victim.  It ignores Hannah's responsibility in her own suicide.  If you've seem the show, you know that Hannah endures a lot of pain and suffering; however, the show washes over the fact that Hannah was responsible for taking her own life. 

2. There was one message I got loud and clear: Adults are clueless.  I can't say Hannah's parents don't care because it's obvious they do, but they assumed everything was fine. It seems they didn't know how to care about their daughter.  And don't get me started on the counselor.  I'm sorry but that guy is an idiot. He is just a puppet, dancing under the strings of the students in control. The show wants you to believe that adults don't understand the emotional fragility of teenagers and therefore doesn't know how to treat them, which sends the message that adults don't get it. You're on your own, kids. 

3. Suicide is the only way to leave a legacy.  While Hannah was alive she was targeted, overlooked, rejected, ignored, even.  Only after her death, did people listen.  What message does this send?  The only way to get people's attention, the only way to be seen, heard, or cared about, is to end your life. Is that really the message we want our kids to hear? 

4. What is truth? Throughout the series, you see teens who have listened to Hannah's tape, but refuse to believe "Hannah's truth" about themselves. Several times you see them arguing that "Hannah's truth is not my truth." Out of self preservation, they refuse to admit what actually happened.  This sends yet another message that truth is anything you want it to be.  That we're all just searching for our own truth to latch on to, as though it is a matter of choosing the right outfit.  In this way of thinking, truth is fleeting; anyone can make their own. As a Christian this breaks my heart because everyone should know and believe the only truth: that Jesus is our rescuer!  The only truth that all these kids in the show need to know is that Jesus gave himself so that we could have life! A helper and healer in times of pain.

5.  There is no hope.Besides the negative themes, the show is just heavy.  It's just hard to watch sometimes.  Bullying, foul language, sex, alcohol, rape, pain, suicide.  Young teens should not be exposed to such emotionally heavy topics that physiologically they cannot yet process, especially when there is no message of hope. Essentially, high school, and everyone in it, will kill you.  Pain is everywhere, and the only thing you can do is suffer through it or end your own life.   While I do think, high school comes with its fair share of hard ships and pain, it is not always this terrible! 

I've read the book a few years ago, so naturally, when the series came out, I wanted to watch it to compare.  The Netflix Hannah is much easier to empathize with.  Hearing her voice and seeing her life on screen, albeit fiction, seemed real.  Kids can see their own struggles in these characters.  They see similar interactions in their everyday life, which is scary. If I can be drawn in so easily and relate to Hannah so well (even though that stage of life is not my reality), it's no surprise that kids love her.  That's whole point, right? Hannah Baker is everywhere and everyone.  However, this theme of watch how you treat others gets lost in the darkness of deep sin portrayed on the screen. Even kids with "perfect" families and "Christian"values think about suicide. I so wish Hannah would have talked to her parents.  Or that her parents would have been persistent enough to engage their daughter about what's going on in her heart. I wish there were some form of light in this dark story.  Parents, while your children are under your roof, you have the opportunity or responsibility, rather, to cultivate the culture of your kids' hearts. Don't let them get lost in the darkness of sin.