With my birthday coming in just a few days, it's time to face the depressing truth that I'm now closer to 30 than 20. Where did the time go? It's crazy how adulthood sneaks up on you. One day I'm playing kickball in the street, the next I'm graduating high school, then college, and now, I'm in the "real world" trying to be a good wife, teacher, coach, and friend. I won't bore you by listing all the things I haven't crossed off the bucket list, but I will reflect on some lessons learned or realizations that have surfaced in my short 26 years of life. Some will probably be blatant and obvious, but bare with me. In no particular order:
1. Confidence is key. This is something I learned in teaching, but it's true in all facets of life: teaching, interviewing, dating, meeting new people, confronting someone, and more. If your confident on the outside, no one has to know your shaking like a leaf on the inside.
2. Dogs and babies are eerily similar. You use baby talk when speaking to them. They both wake you up in the middle of the night. They both sleep on you and drool on you. They both need your constant attention. They both eat/chew on everything. And they both poop, pee, and throw up in unexpected places. Except, you can leave a dog at home in a crate. You can't do that with a baby; it's called child abuse.
3. There will ALWAYS be some new technology my husband will fall in love with. He's got to have the next iPhone, iPad, or iRobot. Although, I can't complain too much. He's pretty responsible and normally finds a way to get us both whatever "i" product there is without breaking the bank. I'll admit though, I'm still amazed at some of the technologies available, and it scares me a little how dependent we've become on these gadgets. There is always something new to make life more "convenient."
4. ALWAYS work hard. No matter what. I learned this lesson fairly early in life since I played sports. If you didn't work hard in practice, you died or at least wished you had worked hard the first time. Oh, basketball memories... Thank you Coach Kilman for pushing me past the point of exhaustion and teaching me the most rewarding lesson I could have learned in high school. When you work hard, it will pay off. Even if it doesn't pay off immediately, you can still be proud of the fact that you didn't quit. And, people will respect you more in the long run.
5. No one cares how much you know until they know how much you care. As cliche as this is, it does ring true. There is no better example than when I worked with someone who, daily, spouted off everything he knew about everything. Half the time, I couldn't understand what he was talking about or why, and the other half of the time, I wanted to punch him in the throat just so he'd stop talking. What I'm trying to say is that, once people realize you care about them, they'll listen to any nonsensical story you throw at them.
6. Dreams don't always come true. As depressing as this sounds, I am living proof. As much as I wanted to be the next Logan Tom on USA's Olympic indoor volleyball team, it just wasn't going to happen. I didn't have the right genes. A 5'6'' skinny white girl isn't going to make it very far in the professional sports world, no matter how hard I worked. Sometimes you just have to have something else going for you other than will power. It's no accident Destinee Hooker is as good as she is when her father was a professional athlete and mother and top collegiate athlete.
7. Going away to college was the best decision. It's the biggest self-exploration experiment you will face. After your parents drop you off, it's all you. You decide what kind of person your going to be. If you fail, you live with the consequences. If you're a loner (or we'll say an introvert -like me), you figure out how to make friends really quickly. When you're married and in college and need to save a few bucks, ramen noodles are always there for you. Ultimately, you learn more about yourself than you ever could have under the shelter of familiarity.
8. Don't listen to what other people say. This is advice we are given all our lives, but it's so hard to heed. It's also a very crippling way to live. Don't let someone take away your stride just because that person needs something to complain about. Be confident in the gifts God has given you. Easier said than done but worth it in the end.
9. Marry someone who makes you laugh. He doesn't do it much anymore, but when Kyle and I were first married, anytime we went to a drive through, he would talk in a nerdy accent and be as ridiculous as possible. He just wanted to make those bored employees enjoy their monotony a little more. For example, at Wendy's he would say to the poor, unassuming victim of sarcasm: "Golly ma'am! That IS a big drink! You guys don't call it a large for nothin'!" I couldn't conceal my laughter, so I'd have to turn away. At the Panda Express drive through the certificate hanging on the wall that proved they had passed inspection was a goldmine. "Congratulations on your award! You guys must be so proud! That's so great!" As the cashier stared at us as though we were the dumbest people on the planet, I couldn't contain myself. Laughter sputtered out of me like shots of an engine back firing. Never a dull moment.
10. Never stop learning, growing, reading, writing, exploring. Growing up, I wasn't that fond of reading, but now that I'm out of school, my "to read" list is ever-growing. Sometimes when I walk my dogs on the nature trail down the street from our house, my mind travels back in time to a place where pretending wasn't uncommon. On the trail, instead of the huge, brown burlap sack someone dumped in the grass, I see a silent, brown rhino carcass. I still have an over-active imagination apparently. Of course, there is a chance I am crazy (very possible), or maybe I'm just trying to preserve something we all lose at point or another. I think we're all still kids just hiding inside aging bodies that mask our true identities. Reading awakens the adventurous side we all seem to ignore once we've morphed into adults. New possibilities are always waiting.
11. Trust God. This should be an easy step to follow since I grew up as a pastor's kid. Wrong. It's in our nature to only rely on ourselves, but God created us for so much more than that. Once we yield to His will, the Peace that passes all understanding has free reign in our lives. As hard as it is to relinquish control, He is more than capable to take care of us.
12. After college, it's harder to make/keep friends. You can't exactly run down the dorm hallways anymore knocking on doors to see who wants to go to dinner. Once you graduate, friends move away, life happens, so naturally friends lose touch. Then, if you don't get along with co-workers, you're out of luck.
13. Laugh or cry or both. Sometimes it's therapeutic to watch a girly, sappy movie, especially when I'm sitting at home on a Saturday night after a long week with a mile-high stack of papers to grade. All I have to do is turn on the TV, and the waterworks start up for any Sarah McLachlan animal abuse commercial. Disney movie? The tears pop out the corners of my eyes and I'm sobbing before I even know what happened. If you've seen the movie UP, you know what I'm talking about. In the same way, though, I laugh just as easily. For example, this new commercial gets me every time. It's the little things.
Check out this commercial
14. Put yourself out there. Make a new friend. Take risks. All of these require courage, so they all belong in one step. However, this is not an easy one for me. I mean, I just told you I saw a dead rhino down the street from my house. I took a risk telling you I'm crazy! :) Also, I once tried to get on my roof so I could see the eerie brightness of the moon. I chickened out, though. Keep in mind; this was like 2 weeks ago - not when I was a kid. I admire all you dauntless dare devils who ride motorcycles or swim with sharks - even you quieter ones who've started blogs and inspired me to follow. It takes courage to wear your heart on your sleeve and leave a part of you pasted on computer screens across the World Wide Web. Although it's not easy to take the leap, it's always more empowering on the risky side of the fence.
15. Stay positive. I struggle with this daily. It's easy to focus on the negative things that bring us down. Go against the grain and look for the positives in your situation. It may be more difficult, but you'll have a much better day!
There you have it. No astonishing revelations. Just a few anecdotes to support my meek experiences. These are the things that have graduated me to a new age group. I'm no longer "18-25." I guess that means I'm not a kid anymore, but I know I still have a lot to learn. I'm still young. I mean I haven't had kids yet, so I've got a few more milestones to cross.
Sometimes I wish life could be like this song...
And the birds sing...
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